Disciplining students, especially children and youth, continues to challenge parents regardless of their beliefs. Most youth simply don’t want to listen and obey, and many parents don’t want to put in the effort to consistently discipline and train up their youngsters because of a variety of reasons. Some parents don’t want to put forth the effort because consistent discipline requires work. Some would rather not have to be home to manage their family because they have to deny themselves time out in the community with their friends seeking entertainment or other types of personal satisfaction. Some parents choose not to discipline because they don’t want to be the example for their children and have to change their own behaviors. Some parents are afraid of disciplining (not abusing) their children because worldly laws threaten to have them arrested if they do. Children are taught in the public schools and social service locations to report their parents if they are denied anything. Saying “no” and sticking to it is inviting child support services to come knocking on your door.
Because of laws in our nation (the U. S. A.) parents, teachers, and others in charge of children can no longer discipline or spank children for bad behavior without fear of being hauled into court on child abuse charges and having their children taken away and put in care of the state. Parents are being taken to court for simply trying to discipline their own unruly, strong-willed child. Parents who have divorced use the law as a weapon to take custody away from their ex spouse because of anger from their past relationship. By penalizing parents for simply trying to discipline (not abuse) their unruly child, our government is encouraging bad behavior. They also do this by giving criminals little or no penalty instead of making the penalty equal to the crime and demanding restoration whenever possible. There is no accountability. Our nation has turned the legal system upside down and chaos reigns in many places. Our court system does not discourage lawlessness anymore; it usually protects the criminal and causes even more pain to the victim who was already hurt by illegal and violent behavior. Our court system is overloaded with cases that should never have been brought to court and often chooses the side of the criminal over the victim. What an injustice!
Parents, teachers, and others can no longer discipline an unruly child with a method that will be strong enough to deter or discourage bad behavior. The child can be given a verbal warning, or a timeout but these methods are frequently ineffective with a strong-willed child who is determined to have their own way. Soon the child and the one trying to correct them end up in a battle of the wills. The child continually tries to push his own way forward and manipulate the parents into giving up and/or giving the child their own way. At this point, a stronger means of discipline is needed to get the child to realize the parent is serious and back down. Administering strong discipline is “tough love” and sometimes its also tough on the parent who has to stick to their discipline to steer the child away from the bad path.
After disciplining the child and seeing the child repent and do the correct behavior, the parents need to reassure the youngster of their love and explain that they are training them to help them live a better life as an adult instead of going into a life of crime and spending their life in a jail or other correctional facility. Discipline deters bad behavior which reaps bad consequences! Discipline does not hinder a child, rather it enhances the life and future of the child.
As the single mother of two sons, I spanked my children only as a last resort, only when other methods would not work. Though it was tough for me to do it, I knew it was necessary to get my sons to obey and avoid bad situations.
I do not condone abusing children. Swatting or hitting a child anywhere other than on their bottom is abuse. Spanking should be used only when other methods fail. Spanking with anything other than your hand or a lightweight spanking stick is what I consider abuse. Spanking or disciplining out of anger is not good. It can lead to abuse. An angry parent needs to cool off and come up with a method of discipline that equals the seriousness of the bad behavior. Restoration should be made whenever possible.
Abuse, whatever form it takes, comes from a heart full of rage. It is not seeking to train up and better the child; rather, it is seeking self satisfaction instead of the betterment of the child. Abuse is not love because it doesn’t seek to build up the child but it causes great destruction. The child who is disciplined always needs to know the reason for the correction and how and why they are expected to change their behavior.
Undisciplined children also need to know that there are times when it’s necessary for them to sit still, be quiet, and listen, such as in a church service, or class at school. They need to be taught when to obey instructions and when to flee from harmful people. They need to learn that discipline is needful at times to train them up to be a responsible adult who benefits society–not a person who spreads destruction. There are many references in the Bible to discipline and even spanking children to turn their hearts from evil and save their souls! Some scriptures on discipline include Proverbs 3:12-14, 13:24, 15:10, 22:15, 23:13. So when needed, administer some tough love and set your child on the right path.
“Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”
–Proverbs 29:17 KJV
Seeds of Christian Faith 